I don’t know how I want to start this, so I’m just going to start.
I’m fucking hurt, and I can pretend all day that I’m okay, but it makes it so much harder. Cause at the end of the day…I’m still hurt as fuck, by two lame ass, sorry ass niggas and I can’t believe I even trusted them that much. Honestly, I just want to leave them alone, but it’s so damn hard cause like no one hits me up like they used to. So I can’t just ignore them cause I’ll feel like ‘well damn, it’s my fault I have no one to talk to cause I won’t respond’. The only friends I have right now are my co workers and I’m so thankful for them, they are seriously the nicest/sweetest people I have ever met. If it wasn’t for them being so sweet to me…I don’t know what would happen. If they even think I’m sad they try to cheer me up and it works and I appreciate that so much. Just to know someone cares to see me happy makes me so happy. I like that I can go to work and not care about any of the other shit at home or continuously failed relationships, or being used, then being ignored. I just wish they would understand how much it hurts. They obviously don’t cause they keep doing the same shit. But I guess it’s my fault cause I keep falling for the dumb shit. Like, if I’m not there find a bitch who is and leave me and my heart the fuck alone. Don’t keep fucking with me. If we won’t work out in a relationship, then we can’t work as friends. So don’t talk to me just leave me alone. Don’t fuck with me. Just don’t. Just don’t. Don’t. Cause it only makes she worse for me, and convenient for you and that shit isn’t fair. Think about something other than what your dick wants for once. And they wonder why us girls are bitches all the damn time, that’s why, cause you think with your dick instead of your mind and heart. It’s just so fucked how you did me. I just can’t believe you waited then said all that shit. I thought you were better than that. I thought you were different. Every guys is obviously the same and there is nothing I can do about it but deal with and hope I find a MAN who isn’t like that. Whatever, I’ll just delete and block you. From my phone and life.
First of all my job is so fucking tiring, no one has any idea. I really would rather work during the day, but I can’t… He’s going to be home next Thursday, can’t even deal with the thought of that. Every time I think about it I get pissed all over again. I just wish I didn’t have to fix my life to fit others…I’m tired of doing things for other people and putting my happiness aside. I do that WAY too much.
It’s just too much fucking shit going on that I want to talk about to people but….no one cares. Like I miss the days when you can talk to anyone about anything and it will be okay. Now, people only hit you up when they want something, no conversation, just straight to the point and that shit isn’t cool. It hurts.
Like, I was always there for you, when you wanted to vent to me about your problems, but the minute I ask you for a favor you never fucking come through, like what kind of friend is that?
In all honesty, I used to be able to talk to you about anything, I used to be happy when I talked to you. I can seriously remember how happy I was to talk to you because we would talk about any and everything and it would take my mind off of anything that was bothering me. Now you hardly say anything to me. That hurts.
Whatever.
I have a headache.
It’s like the same fucking shit like every week/day/month.
Same shit, Different people.
I’m just tired of getting treated like shit.
I’m ALWAYS there for you! No matter what time of the day! I’m always there! Listening to your problems and going places with you and doing shit with you and just being a loyal ass friend to you and when I ask you for ONE favor you NEVER come through, it’s always some excuse and you wonder why you are in the situation you are in….karma is a bitch
It just sucks not having anyone to turn to…
I’m going through so much shit right now and I just need someone to talk to…someone who will make me happy through all this bullshit….
I don’t know why I keep saying “I don’t care” when I do…I just need to deal with it and get over it.
I’m tired of being hurt, I’m tired of feeling worthless, I’m tired of feeling like no one cares. I’m just fed up with all this shit…
People can sit all day and make up how my life is suppose to be and say I want attention and shit…when the truth is that I don’t. Just because I want to vent my inner feelings doesn’t mean I want attention. I’ve been feeling like this for a while…I just never said anything because I honestly thought I could just get over it, but I can’t…not alone. I thought things were getting better…but you kept coming and leaving and not giving a fuck how I felt. You kept making me feel guilty and basically punishing me for things I have no control over. I’m sorry, it can’t be the way you want it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do or say. I’m sorry. But I’m just hurt…don’t mind me.
I’m just so ugh…I’m an emotional wreck & I’m tired of pretending that I’m happy just so other people can be happy. I’m just gunna be real and if I end up alone…then that’s just what’s suppose to happen…oh well.
If you don’t give a fuck neither do I…so if I don’t reply…it’s because I don’t give a fuck just like you didn’t…just consider me dead
Honestly, I hate love. I won’t ever fall in love again. That shit is no game. It’s so fucking hard to get out of…especially when the other person just doesn’t give a fuck and didn’t try to hold on or anything…it’s just fucking sucks. I hate this shit. Honestly. To be fucking honest. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate this fucking shit. It fucking hurts so damn bad.
I just need to vent about so many fucking things…
I’m fucking sad because I don’t have anyone to fucking vent to…It’s just like…fuck man, what in the hell happened in my life in the past two years…everything was cool, except the fact I had a shitty boyfriend…I was still happy with my “friends”. I was sincerely happy. Now…I’m happy, but I’m still missing that one person, just a friend, man…like why is that so hard to ask for? I’m a good friend to people. I’m there for them whenever they want, I’ll listen to them about whatever, doesn’t matter if it is the same shit, I’ll still listen and I expect that in return, but do I get it? Nope. I don’t ever expect anyone to do anything for me. So…if I’m reaching out to you, something is seriously wrong with me.
I don’t get why you put so much trust in me. Like…I don’t get it. And I hate that we know each other…I hate that we met. Because I don’t get why you put me on this pedestal making me your “everything” and ugh, I just can’t deal with and it stresses me out, cause I don’t don’t want to be mean cause that’s not who I am,but at the same time…it’s the same shit, you cry about the same shit. Be a man…get over it. I’m just so annoyed and I don’t know what to do. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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